It’s been awhile since I’ve treated you with one of my rants…so here we go.
So, I usually lie about my age. Especially in Central Asia where people marry younger and begin having their dozen children at a much younger age than in China.
I’m 26. Sometimes I’m honest, it really depends on who I’m speaking with. I’m a 26 year old English teacher.
But, when the passport is exposed…well…that’s when shit breaks loose.
I’ve been warned of the police in Uzbekistan but haven’t had anything more than friendliness, pats on the back, and “are you married”/”where’s your friend?”/etc…but the first question usually is…”Do you have a baby?”
I always laugh and make body language that I can’t ride a bike being pregnant. And where am I going to put my baby? Or, in Central Asia, my BABIES?!
Having a friend and having a baby are both very sensitive topics for me right now…and well, it’s ALWAYS DISCUSSED.
NO! I HAVE NO FRIENDS!!! I’m alone…what’s the big effin deal?! Get over it.
Why is it a sensitive topic?
Well, shit…maybe I would enjoy company but I don’t have it. At nearly 22,000km…I’m growing weary of my thoughts and entertainment. I wonder what I was thinking about 2 years ago at 2000km. Hmmmm, I’ll have to go figure that one out. I was probably trying to figure out what the hell I was doing on a bike in the middle of China with no idea what the hell I was doing.
NO! I HAVE NO BABIES!!! I don’t want babies, I don’t need babies…I’m an old maid. Get over it.
Why is this a sensitive topic?
Because I’m GAWD DAMN TIRED OF IT!!! Get off my 33 year old, free livin’, life lovin’, shit stirrin’ ass, already! I’m tired of it. Society everywhere wants women to settle down and birth. Little girls are given dolls to play with so we can be good mommies. Social conditioning?
Maybe this is a reason for all the mental health issues, such as depression. People have let society convince them that have to have kids, but somewhere in their soul, it wasn’t right for them. But they didn’t realize they had a choice to choose.
I love kids, don’t get me wrong. But I’m allowed to choose what kind of life I want and I choose to be a selfish old maid. You chose to have kids, I’ve chosen not to.
Yeah, times a tickin’ and if I don’t get on it (um, literally speaking I suppose) I guess everything will shrivel up and die.
People give me weird looks when I respond with, “There is always adoption.”
Before I get a shit storm of emails about how I offend you or whatever you want to say. Let me first state, very frankly…that I have medical issues dealing with my reproductive organs. I don’t even know if I can have kids. So why set myself up for disappointment?
Also, I just don’t have the money to support another life. I live on $2/day…a kid is going to cost a lot more than that.
Who’s going to take care of me when I’m old? Well, thanks for asking…Japan’s robot technology is just for this reason. They have a growing problem of not enough people to take care of the elderly. So, instead of paying for a college tuition, I’ll buy my own personal robot.
So at the Bridge games my friends can say, “I have 10 grandchildren.”
“I have a robot.”
Back to the story at hand…
So, the last police checkpoint as I’m headed into Bukhara.
I’m waved over and asked to see my Passport.
“Excuse me madame, passport? Where are you from?”
“America.”
“Ohhhh USA?!” (Not a lot of Americans visit this part of the world…tons of Europeans though)
As he examines my passport he shouts to the other guard at the booth about how I am American. He walks over.
“Friend?” Number 2 hand sign.
“No.” Number 1 hand sign.
Body language of shrugging shoulders with a “why” expression?
“No friends” – spoken in Russian.
Then I watch the first one point to my birth year on my passport, the others eyes follow his finger. They both look up at me.
“Baby?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Tourist, no baby.” – spoken in Russian
Then they all take turns giving me hand signals of how many children they each have. It’s a whole production. Well, congratu-fuckin-lations. Can I go now?
“Husband?”
“Yes, in America.”
Body language and a few word of why he isn’t here.
“No time.”
Okay, enough with the interview Coppers, let me get on with this already. Why…oh why…do you spend my time asking me these questions?
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Uzbekistan, near Aydar Lake, close to 43 degrees Celsius, and just hitting 21,000km. Where would I put my baby?
Maybe in here?
Bravo – miss Eleanor. Yeah where would you put the baby? This is your time, your life and yours to spend and with as you please. You are such a beautiful woman, a free spirit and what were you thinking 2000km ago? You will probably find it on this blog….Love you
Bravo – miss Eleanor. Yeah where would you put the baby? This is your time, your life and yours to spend and with as you please. You are such a beautiful woman, a free spirit and what were you thinking 2000km ago? You will probably find it on this blog….Love you
Also, I can imagine, but not really, how weary you really must be – but what treasures you have seen and experienced – some bad but mostly good.
Also, I can imagine, but not really, how weary you really must be – but what treasures you have seen and experienced – some bad but mostly good.
Your life to live as you see fit Ellen. Bugger everyone else, the planet is over populated as it is anyway. Take care.
Your life to live as you see fit Ellen. Bugger everyone else, the planet is over populated as it is anyway. Take care.
Ice face ! Did you sleep under the road again? Are you addicted or something?
It was to get out of the sun!!!!
Ice face ! Did you sleep under the road again? Are you addicted or something?
It was to get out of the sun!!!!