…because I’m a woman. (Ironically enough, it’s Woman’s Day and I caught myself kicking my feet in the sand, breathing in truck exhaust, on my way to try and get some photos…damning myself for being a woman with these expectations.)
Forget about getting portraits out here…or anything like the work I did in Tibet, without a fixer or a local to help.
I’ve been slowly working my way into this Muslim culture, the “Invisible China”, for the past 2 weeks and arrived in Hotan with complete culture shock. Nothing like I’ve seen or experienced before.
Today, I went out with both cameras and only was successful in getting a few from stealth mode by my point and shoot.
I walked to the edge of town and there must of been a half of kilometer when I was the only woman among hundreds of Uyghur men. I returned to the part of town where there was more of a mix of men and women. I felt better and not so hopeless. The out part of town I was getting laughs and strange noises that I don’t know what they represent.
Do I feel uncomfortable? Yes. Did I tell myself I was going to walk around and shoot and own what I am? Yes. Did I? No.
I walked for about 5-6 hours today. Not trying too hard to get photos as much as trying to adjust. There were a couple of moments when my eyes may have welled up a little. Why? Because I feel like I’ve let myself down with photographing these people and culture. I really wanted to be successful at getting some great and compelling images. Telling these people’s story…but I can’t…I need some help.
When I say Muslim, I do mean women fully covered…only showing eyes. The men, some, resemble members of the Taliban. I was thinking today, would I feel as uncomfortable if Western culture had not bombarded us/me/you with images of “Muslim extremists” or “the enemy”. I will deny that has little to do with how I view things, but I’m sure it’s somewhere in my subconscious.
Towards the end of the day I did some shopping. When chatting with female market seller for purchasing my glazed donut knots, a few other women chimed in. I had been using an old hair clip for a money clip and my market lady was very interested in it. I gave it to her…should of sold it to her now that I think about it. But I would never do that, these people have very little and I have 2 dozen bobby pins in my vanity bag.
Also, some women at the bank were very kind to me too. Even a few men were curious of there are Muslims in America. I’m learning that I have to make the first move for discussion or conversation…but I also don’t know where the borders lie. Perhaps I should avoid making eye contact with the men…what am I to do?
Would I feel more comfortable with a man by my side. Hell, I’m not going to lie…yes! I was thinking about some photo moments when I was traveling with Brandon. I did feel safer and more comfortable getting into situations. I had an extra set of eyes to watch my back, my bike, and sometimes he took the eyes off of me and onto himself. When I felt safe about it, I would let him know I needed him to leave so I could take care of some photos…especially with the young nomad women.
I’ll be leaving China in 2 weeks to head into Central Asia. I hope this gives me some deflation time to think all this stuff through. Maybe I’m totally working this in vain. Maybe I need more time and funds to afford this hearty task. Allah! Please send me a Uyghur fixer or two…or a dozen.
I also question, why am I trying to photograph city life? In the best photo work I’ve completed on this journey…it’s OUT of the city. When I ride, I usually only use cities for supply refills. So why am I so hard on myself thinking to get something good out of city life. It’s not my forte…it’s not even really what I want. I need some time to let all this soak in……
Do you want to know if I cover my hair? Of course. I wear a neck warmer up to my chin and a head scarf. There is some hair that peaks out at the top, but come on…it’s not like I’m fooling anyone. It’s out of respect. I saw a French man and woman yesterday and chatted them both up. I thought it was strange she wasn’t covering her head where he had a near full beard. When I was in Urumqi, I met Theodore Kaye, a photographer…and he did recommend that I wear a head scarf. I actually feel very naked without one now…even if it’s just a bandana.
I’ve realized that not only is my face sun burned but also sand blasted.
I found that the Muslims in China (mostly Uyghur and Hui) were some of the nicest people I met. Of course, I didn’t travel to Hotan. Most I met were in Shenzhen, which isn’t known for its Muslim population.
Good luck photographing central Asia.
it’d be interesting to see what would happen in a private home full of just women…what would you feel like then?
I actually thrive in all female situations. I found that in Tibet…but here, I don’t get invited into homes like I did there. So it’s difficult to find those moments.
it’d be interesting to see what would happen in a private home full of just women…what would you feel like then?
I actually thrive in all female situations. I found that in Tibet…but here, I don’t get invited into homes like I did there. So it’s difficult to find those moments.
Just came across your travel blog via Adventure Cyclist. From a 1st time visitor I am amazed at the photos above. Although you say you prefer photographing in the countryside, I think you have done an amazing job capturing the the city culture. Is that an phone the young child is playing with…if so I do feel bad that the electronic/gadget culture has even spread to all parts of the world.
Looking forward to passing time in my dreary cubical reading more of your adventure blog!
Just came across your travel blog via Adventure Cyclist. From a 1st time visitor I am amazed at the photos above. Although you say you prefer photographing in the countryside, I think you have done an amazing job capturing the the city culture. Is that an phone the young child is playing with…if so I do feel bad that the electronic/gadget culture has even spread to all parts of the world.
Looking forward to passing time in my dreary cubical reading more of your adventure blog!