Break Time

Financial banking crisis – I must go back to Shanghai to work this out.

Also, Jason wants to leave China in December so I must move.

I’m devastated to say the least…actually, I don’t know what I’m really feeling. My eyes are swollen from hours of crying…feeling like a failure…seeing 16 months of work and dedication ‘end’.

No, I think not…I don’t give up that easily. It sucks when you are defeated by money, or lack there of. Of all the obstacles I’ve faced, money is the one that wants to stop this adventure.

I’m in Qinghai, and upon arrival, I was immediately charged to keep going. It’s absolutely beautiful here, riding through mountains, spotting a lone monk down in a valley. Old temples and Muslims whizzing by on their motorcycles. No coal in the air here.

This post is going to be much shorter than how I really feel and what I’m thinking…as I am really confused and scattered. I didn’t think this would happen, and so abruptly.

I checked my account less than 12hours ago and have already lined up a substitute teaching job that will bring in 2500 rmb and hooked up with some previous students to bring in some cash.

Ohhhhhhh, you haven’t seen the last of me Western China…you sure haven’t.

What has the last 4 months done to me…made me hungry, ‘like wolf’. I want my language skills to be the best and I want to make those images that say something – real. Not just your touristy run of the mill stuff.

I wanted this so bad…I wanted this trip, this ride, this experience, so bad. I haven’t worked this hard for something in a long time and there is no way in heck I’m going to be defeated by something like, money.

Yeah, I read the blogs of other cyclists…and their whole thing about, “we aren’t sponsored, we are doing this on our own dime…blah blah blah”.

Well, just because you are sponsored doesn’t mean you have a big fat bank roll. Being sponsored meant that I, you, spent countless hours researching and writing emails to companies. With perhaps 1 in 10 willing to help. Do you know what it feels like to ask for help, it’s not really all that dignifying, at least for me. That’s a personal battle of mine for another time – I hate asking for help.

Being sponsored means you can’t just quit because you are tired or feel like it.

It also means promising things in return for their generosity and support.

Don’t worry sponsors – I’ll be back in that saddle in no time.
Don’t worry fans and friends – I won’t disappoint – I promise.

With a little time and money making, I can hopefully repair my failing drive chain, get tires (I only had 3 flats 2 days ago…yeah, 3 in one day – balls!), a new pair of shoes, and a better pair of shorts (i’ve got raw saddle sores).

My 2 months plan – make money, repair the ride, make some images locally, pack my crap up except 4 panniers and that beautiful and lovely Saga. Oh, and of course, post some pics.

Tailwinds and Godspeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!