Hidden Yak

Yea yea…we (still) ARE total jerks to one another every now and again…but at the end of the day…we still were BFFs of 2011.

More good times than bad…right, Guy?

Friendship is when you can move past differences and a shattering argument…and become tighter than before. It’s hard not to reminisce about the amazing days of summer…when I’m held up in -16C temps.

Yaxi, my Tibetan “little brother”.

I had arrived in Xiangcheng, Kham (Southwestern Sichuan) and was looking for a cheap place to stay. Repeatedly getting turned away because I was a foreigner. I had expected this as the city has a massive amount of police.

Walking down an alley, to check out a possible place, to check out a Tibetan hotel, Yaxi caught my eye but I turned away because my first impression was of beauty yet complete intimidation. He was also standing outside a gambling/arcade (he actually works there).

He tried to get my attention but I refused because I have my “rules”.

Running behind, he caught up with me and I couldn’t refuse talking. I stumble over my Chinese because I’m completely caught off guard.

We make the brief introductions, where I’m from, what I’m doing, and what I need. Yaxi, you are gorgeous.

From my photos, you would think that all Tibetans walk around in their traditional dress…but there is also the modern, city, Tibetans. Yaxi is a year younger than I.

He insists on pushing my bike for me. Chivalry is not dead among the Tibetans. We try 3 different hotels, continually getting turned away.

Pushing up a hill he looks at me and says, “you can stay at my home”…I stammer and reassures me his “wife” is at home through his beautiful and gentle smile.

To make this story a little shorter, I ended up spending 6 days there with them. I had lost my eyeglasses a few km back and was walking around with sunglasses at night. They did find a motorcycle and his wife drove me to the edge of town a few days later where I found my crushed eyeglasses…with one lens. I would live without eyeglasses for 14 days.

They were the most pleasant hosts and I didn’t spend a cent. We took walks, visited the temple, spent nearly every moment together. I would hang out at the gambling joint. Man, those Tibetans like to gamble!

One afternoon, out on the stoop, where this photo was taken…there was a very heated debate for an hour or so about “The D.L.”. Yaxi and his wife ARE Tibetans from Qinghai and they had workmates that were Han. There was screaming and shouting…when the Tibetans walked through the alley, they would either run quickly by or stand back listening to the conversation. I was hiding in the shadow behind the door, keeping a look out for police.

Yaxi and his wife look at me…I understood most of this conversation…and they look at me in sincerity and ask me in Chinese…”what do you think”? I sink into my chair and I say, “I’m an American…YOU KNOW what I think.” This is enough for them.

Last week I spoke to Yaxi on the phone briefly, he can not speak English. We ended up communicating more via text message. He is currently at his home in Kangding. He wants me to return to spend more time with him and his family. We briefly discussed the current situation and we both agree that I “can’t” come right now because it’s “very very very bad”, “but after”…”after” what I ponder.

Yaxi reassured me and that he and his family are okay, as I worry of him. Yaxi, my little brother…my thoughts are with you, your family, and all the Tibetans. “meiguoren he xizangren pengyou”

Tibetan Sisters, Nima Tibet 2011

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Tashi Delay! and please be sure to keep up with what is happening in this part of the world.

Is that you, Death, sleeping at my side? (or The Last Day of Freedom in Tibet)

Place: U-Tsang, Tibet Autonomous Region
Time: September 2011
Approaching 20th day since illegal entry

The days on the plateau were calm and peaceful. Spending my days alone, on the saddle or pushing up over ridges, headed towards the horizon. The view of my route leading right up to the heavens. Lifting my arm up in the air knowing that if I were to stretch my skinny, frail and knotted body just a little further…I could pluck a cloud right out of the blue sea I’ve been swimming in.

The past couple of nights, sitting in my tent and looking up at the sky, questioning how much longer I could endure this. I was starving, my drive for food had nearly vanished. The ringing in my ears being the only sound that kept me constant company. Hunting for water by climbing to the top of hills and finding the fresh, bubbling source…while avoiding the run off that interweaves around yak and elk tracks (maybe wolves). Fingers and toes taking on a purplish hue and a constant lethargy, my daily desire to find somewhere to sleep away the days.

Death…what will you feel like? Perhaps I have an idea.

As I zipped myself into my green down coffin, inside my green tomb, I envisioned myself not waking up from this life but continue to live on in this glorious dream. I was in the most magical and beautiful place in the world. Alone and free…and I have never felt such a rush of true happiness in my life.

Awaking that day with a rain shower, camping next to a lake, as I unzip my tomb, I am overtaken by a bright and transparent azul lake with a range of shimmering glaciers.

To the West, I can see thick storm clouds touching the horizon with the winds prickling against my face as I question my agenda for the day.

Exhausted, I zip up and fall in and out of sleep with the sound of the rain and wind against this green tomb, my home.

Moments, the storms would subside and silence and brightness would enter the tomb. Some time would pass and it would become dark again and I would fall into a dream, the sound of the rolling water down the nylon.

It wouldn’t be so bad to spend the day here, I could set off tomorrow for Nima, as I was only a day ride away. Having a little water and some snacks for survival, yet my belly is getting smaller and smaller and more difficult to force something down. What is happening to me?

Late afternoon, after the storm has cleared, I stick my head out in the sunshine and see the Tibetan family approaching. Nothing to worry about. My concern is on the massive storm clouds coming closer and closer from the West.

A few men, a child, and a woman come over to me. The younger man can speak a smidgen of Mandarin and I’m directed I need to get going, that I can’t stay. This is the ONLY time this has ever happened to me. All other times I would have been invited into their home for tea.

My conscience tells me that these folks may not be like all the other souls I’ve met along this path so without an argument or pointing at the storm clouds I crawl out in my pjs and begin to pack up. I’ll go a few kilometers up and set up camp for the day.

I’m moving so slow, slower than I’ve ever moved before. The family sits about 2 meters from me and watches my life in slow motion. They have brief discussions when I shove my bag into a tight bag or break down the tomb poles. Just a sentence or two…nothing more.

Slipping some clothes over my pjs with my intent to go back to dreaming in just a couple of hours. What’s happening, all I want to do is zip up into my green lit tomb and dream…….

The storm clouds are black and they are nearly hovering over me.

The winds are whipping everything around and I have to move fast to prevent my possessions from being blown over the plateau.

We are engulfed in darkness and the air temperature drops fast. The Tibetans and I say goodbye and they watch me walk fast towards the West and they begin to run home to duck out of the storm.

I’m hit with cold ice from all sides. It’s painful. It’s cold. Battered…it’s a hail storm.

There is a bridge going over a stream of glacier melt behind me.

I push my legs as fast I can, and backtrack, past the Tibetans to hide under the bridge. They watch me pass without an offer of help or shelter. Being pummeled by ice, I jump off my bike and duck under the bridge.

Trying to stay dry, I press my body against the cold and damp concrete of the standing structure. It’s this or be misted from the sides and ice dropping down between the wooden slats above.

I watch cardboard boxes and other miscellany fly by with a great speed, tumbling over what ever stands in it’s way. When I stick my head out from under the bridge, my hair is whipped around and my face stings as if I’m being attacked by an angry swarm bees.

Early evening, the sky opens up and the plateau has returned to its near blinding light. The dark clouds are to the South East of me and perhaps if I move fast enough I can stay out of this storm.

The remainder of light is spent going up and down over the plateau, avoiding glacier melt, ditches, and trenches. I may have had a Tibetan or two pass me on his motorcycle, that part of this memory is not so clear. My soul was elsewhere, a place that’s not on this earth.

Nightfall arrives late on the plateau, after 9:30.

There is a brilliant full moon. She lights up the sky and earth for me. Never have I experienced an evening like this. I am Moon bathing and her energy is lighting up everything for me to continue on. Never have I seen such a clarity.

I recall having a feeling of “the end”. It had been visiting me for the past couple of days but that night, under the stars, I remember thinking, “this is my last day”. It wasn’t some starved, crazy woman thought…it was very clear, as clear as the night sky that had engulfed me…womb like. It was calm, I was not scared or anxious. This was the end.

Pushing through the moonlight, I hear this “huff…huff…huff…huff…huff”. What is this deep breath I continue to hear. I stop, I listen…it has stopped. I start pedaling again and I hear “huff…huff…huff…huff”. Am I delusional or am I hearing this…can someone tell me if I really heard this? “huff…huff…huff…huff”…

It must be the Tibetan deer or elk. What else could it be? I had seen them in the fields for 100’s of kms. All alone, with no soul around, there is not even an instant of fear. “Huff…huff…huff…huff…huff…”, this breathing continues as soon as my feet make their revolutions. Stopping when I stop.

Perhaps it was my “Animal Guide”, the Moose, did I finally slow down enough for him to catch up with me. Our first encounter under the silver flecked night sky.

The plateau is a very tricky place to estimate how much road is ahead.

I had seen motorcycle lights weaving along the horizon, like shooting stars. Further ahead I could see spotlights dancing in the sky, they must be coming from Nima.

Repeatedly telling myself, “just a little further, just a little further”.

Close to midnight, I gave in to the calling of sleep.

There is a Tibetan village. No lights but I hear a couple of dogs and watch the single light drive off the road and up to the ridge. The moonlight exposing the little concrete buildings to me, with a grey smoke slowly rising above.

I never feel comfortable entering a village at dark, especially around midnight.

The village is about 1km South of the road…I set up camp about 2 meters North of this road. In the morning, we will be able to clearly see each other.

One reason I camp close to people is because if something were to happen, I can find help. I’ve had practice with my “War Cry” so I know the glass shattering sound will pierce their ears.

As I set up camp, for the final time in Tibet, a single light approaches me. I squat behind the tent, to avoid any interaction and hopes they will just leave. It works. They pull up about 1 meter away to look at the tent and move on without a word.

I stand there and I look up into the sky. Trying to photograph this moment doesn’t work…it shows “nothing”. What I see and feel can not be described in a photograph, it barely can be scribbled down on paper, let alone, being pecked into a blog entry.

Curling up in my tent after gazing into the heavens for nearly an hour, I fall asleep…questioning, “is this all a dream” and knowing…it’s over.

December 8, 2011 – “Nowhere” to Urumqi

High Point: Arriving to Urumqi
Low Point: A day of riding in snow and ice
Tomorrow’s Banana: Rest

I wake up in my windowless room, still too warm. Collecting my clothing from my delirious strip down from the previous night, I let out a few grunts and moans of my sore back. Nothing like an upper body work out when pushing a bike up a mountain.

Laoban instructs, very kindly, I stay for breakfast. Congee, hard boiled eggs, and bread. There is something about Han breakfast I love…especially when I can find fresh “youtiao” – which translates to oil stick – and soy milk. Mmmmmm…Han breakfeast………

Anyhow. Laoban is kind enough to turn the tv onto a CCTV foreign channel. I laugh and tell him very kindly and somewhat embarrassed, “oh laoban, this channel is in French, I don’t understand French. I’m sorry.”

We are both chuckling together and he tells me he can’t understand French either! Well what do you know…this American and my Chinese friend have something in common! The next hour is spent in front of the CCTV News…which I can understand a little – context helps.

I tell him I must get going but he says I should stay a little longer. “It’s very cold right now and snowing.”

“It’s snowing?! Really???”

Yes, it’s snowing.

So after about another 30 minutes I walk down to the first floor with laoban to load up and set off. Damn it! Laoban points out that I have a flat.

Okay, do I unload the bike and find the flat or do I pump it up and see what is to come of it? I’m lazy and try not to work as much as possible. Urumqi isn’t that far away and if it’s a slow leak, I can probably make it. Also, my bike froze up last night so who knows what that bitter cold did.

I pump up the tube outside, with laoban and his friend watching me. Laoban says “goule” but it’s not enough. I know, even though my pump gauge broke about 4,000km ago. But, you know, I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings so after a few more pumps I decide I’ll just stop up ahead to finish my pumping. I’ve done this before, at least a dozen times.

It’s a day of heavy traffic, near white out conditions, and cold.

Around 5:00 pm I arrive in Urumqi.

There is a nice Dutch boy as my roommate. We spend the next couple of days together. He wanted me to travel to Gansu with him but I decided I really wanted to rest.

The second rest day, I could barely walk. Being out in the cold and constantly working everyday, I didn’t realize how the last 2 days kicked my ass.

Then, I was blessed with a wonderful eye infection which led to eye surgery here in Urumqi.

My Visa is on it’s way here, should arrive in a couple of days and I’ll be out of here faster than you can say “Wulumu…”

If you have been keeping up with me via this blog or Facebook…or maybe you are a close friend I’ve been corresponding with…you know that my time here has been difficult/challenging but productive on a personal level. I think I needed this time to sit down and really work through some thoughts. So I send the biggest hug to all of you – you know exactly who you are. And another thanks to all of my new followers.

Along with that, some important networking and email writing.

I had over 700 page views yesterday…that’s quite exciting. Looks like this site picked up around 5000 page views in January alone. You all are welcome to send me an email or even text me. I love correspondence and, again, thanks for the love and support.

December 7 2011 – Fukang to Nowhere (10hrs of riding for 20km West)

Highpoint: Not falling in the icy river as I bash my triple outer ring against rocks and upon moving it off seeing remainders of the aluminum glittering on the rock (will file 2 teeth upon arrival to Urumqi).

Lowpoint: Pushing the bike up a 10km iced/snow pass to a dead end – oops! Wrong way! Then another 10 back (slipping) down.

Tomorrow’s Banana: Arriving in Urumqi (Although I should of arrived today.)

The weather is mild in the beginning and I decide to take a small back road to Urumqi…heading South and over some mountains. There is a disconnect on the map, but come on…I’m sure there is some way to get there. Right?

It’s a steady uphill ride along closed mountain vacation spots. If you saw the video I posted a few weeks back of the “Xinjiang Traffic Jam” of the shepherd and his flock – this was the day.

Weather begins to turn as I climb and around 3ish I’ve lost all blue skies and everything is freezing.

That was the last town I pass and the road ends at a drying up river. Well, it’s a river bed with about 2 dozen different water flow paths. I can see the road on the other side so I try to pass by jumping from rock to rock. If I fall in, I’m F*&ked…SERIOUSLY.

WHAM!!! The outer crank wheel collides onto a stone. As I’m balancing on stones, trying to get the bike…shit, I don’t even know what I was doing…just not trying to fall over into the freezing water. I made it out about 5 meters before I just realized this was completely stupid.

I back track…there has got to be a road. Earlier I had seen a cowboy cross the river on his horse and a motorcycle. Going back to there I find a little path to get me across.

Riding Kham and U-Tsang trained me really well at crossing streams, rivers and glacier melt. The first time I tried crossing water, those frozen feet taught me never to just STOP ever again. If the weather is nice and I’m concerned about the photo gear…I’ll take the shoes and socks off to cross.

After crossing and looking back.

This is the point where I’m starting to question where I am. Maps and compass and I’m still having some doubts. I should of asked the people in the town BEFORE crossing the water. Whatever, I’ll keep going on.

The ridge on the other side is speckled with homes and there is a part of me that thinks I should of not crossed the river bed. I’m not sure why I do this but I’m pretty sure I convinced myself that this way would get me to where I’m going.

Ok. Very little tracks in the road. Some villages and homes. Some shepherds. This bike is getting pushed through this range. All 10km or so of it!

I keep looking to right and see the villages on the other side on the ridge. I’m going deeper and deeper and pass another village.

Ending up on the side of a mountain with not a lot of hope ahead, I walk 3km without the bike and just a compass to figure out what the hell is going on. This newly dug up road is not taking me SW.

Try the other road 1 km back. I end up in a little valley and I know for sure this is wrong, there is no way to continue on. I go back to the last village.

I see two men and I remove my glasses and hat and let them know I’m a foreigner. They show me where I am. I have to return to the village on the other side of the water. I’m on the wrong side! (Ha! Ironic when I just wrote a post about never doubt a babe’s navigation/map reading skills. Well, this time I goofed!)

Down the mountain I’m slipping all over the place and nearly land flat on my butt a couple of times.

Damn you water…I have to cross AGAIN!

It’s near 5:30 and I only have about 2 hours MAX of daylight. There is no where to stay here and it’s freezing. I would freeze to death up here…I have to get somewhere so as soon as I get back across the water it’s a race to somewhere.

I talk to a Kazakh man at the village about where I’m going and where I’m coming from. Explaining I want that small road to Urumqi. He tells me the road is too difficult and long and that I need to return to Fukang. He points to the ridge when talking about the small road I’m looking for. Sure…okay…I’m NOT returning to Fukang and ride back up the hill to look for the small road.

With my luck…I see an empty coal truck come along and he takes these tire tracks that I would of NEVER seen if he hadn’t came along. There comes another truck and he takes the same route.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS…FOLLOW THE COAL TRUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am racing light now…as I follow the tracks behind the empty coal trucks.

After a few km I’m on a “road”? Let me just say, imagine what a road would be like in the mountains that only coal trucks take…there, that’s the description.

It’s getting cold and dark…and colder. I’m starting to worry and look for somewhere to set up camp. Not just out, but abandoned buildings or hideaways under the road.

It’s all coal mining out here and I begin to go down the pass at sunset. I pass a coal mine with little concrete, abandoned, building across the road. Shit! Someone sees me and is watching. I want to set up camp in that building but it’s not going to work. The empty coal trucks go to the west, I see loaded trucks coming towards me. Continue to follow the loaded coal trucks.

It’s dark and I’m going down a nasty road. Bouncing everywhere, skidding in loose stones, avoiding the ditches and trenches. Hands are frozen and feet are freezing.

This goes on for a couple of hours, it’s pitch black.

Around 9:30, after about 2 hours in the dark…I hit tarmac. Relief. I have no idea where I am or what way to go. I’m at a fork. Which way shall I go. There is traffic coming from the North…okay…I guess this is the way I go.

EVERYTHING is frozen on my bike. I have to take extra care…she whines every time I touch the brakes and luckily my chosen route is down down down. Smooth tarmac and shading my eyes every time a car passes to keep my shitty night vision.

Around 10:30 I arrive to a little side of the highway stop…thank god. I ask a shop keeper about zhusu and she directs me. Find a nice quaint and warm place on the second floor. We lock my bike up on the first floor that has a massive pot-belly coal burning stove. My poor bike is so frozen and is crying to me for a cleaning.

I really really thought I was going to freeze tonight. Honestly. It goes down as one of the top 10 worst rides. 1-Cold 2-Lost 3-Dark 4-Frozen Bike 5-Anticipated hitting Urumqi to only take a long way around to get a very short distance from Fukang. I only got 20km West of my morning starting point…after riding in the mountains for over 10 hours! Idiot!!!!!! Masochist!!!!!!!!!!!

Scarf down noodles downstairs while the little boy practices his English along with a video on the tv.

Yeah, I was kind of worried about losing my fingers tonight. I still have all 10…because, well, if I lose one or two…how will I transmit my stories!!!!!

Waking up in the middle night soaking in sweat, wiping it from the back of my neck than I get down to my undies. Which, obviously I wasn’t thinking straight because that is a big no no in these types of places. Gross. Someone send me a home TB test!

December 6, 2011 – SanTai Zhen to Fukang

Morning…nice and warm room, don’t want to leave.

Who ever can give the best “What am I thinking?” title to this photo wins…um, I don’t know what…but you win. (Message privately, as some of you do, or leave in the comments.

During the ride I noticed that I’m putting in a lot of power and not feeling a lot of progress. Doh! I have a massive fender icicle. There is minuscule clearance and it’s only getting colder and colder. It’s a big black nasty block of ice.

I had ridden through a lot of open air coal earlier in the day. There were mounds on both sides of me, steam rising into the air. I’m now wondering if this is what triggered the funk in my eye.

It’s still light out upon my arrival to Fukang, and it’s a legit city. So I begin the hunt for a home on the outskirts to find the cheapest place.

Ah-ha! A total hole next to a police station, that’s perfect for a solo babe. And…the 2 flights of stairs are near 2 meter wide…I swoOOoooOOOOosh right up those with my loaded bike.

15rmb and private room…but then the whole police hassle begins.

Laoban takes my copies of Passport/Visa to the station. I have to go to the station with the real ones. Then from there we have to drive over to the main government building. I’m sitting in the back seat trying to count all the times I’ve sat in police vehicles in the past 6 months. Too much police interaction out here.

Then when all that is taken care of they tell me I can catch a taxi back. Um…I don’t think so…you are taking me back.

Home sweet home and there is a about 3 liters of black water under my bike. Ooops, sorry laobanniang.

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