May 25, 2012 WanderCyclist

Apologies

It recently came to my attention that maybe some of my anti-normal life inner monologues turned into blog posts may have offended people.

Firstly, apologies.
Secondly, I don’t think lesser of people that have a normal life. I’m actually quite envious. How can I not be envious of those that have found happiness…as I ride around on a bike, deprived of home comforts, searching for my bliss. I wish normalcy was for me…I wish I could find happiness in the idea of marriage, kids, a car, and a nice home.

Maybe some of you, readers, understand the inner turmoil I go through. Pedaling down lonesome roads, knowing that I could go home to a nice normal life. But, there is something about the idea…that stifles me. It’s just not for me, and I don’t diss on those that have it. There is a part of me that wants it…but there is a smidgen of me that doubts I’ll be who I want to be in that role.

So, if you left this blog with no intention of returning, I’m sorry. If I offended you with my internal rantings trying to convince myself and validate my abnormal behavior and choices, I’m sorry.

Thirdly, I’m sorry to the guy who’s heart I broke. The person I was dedicated to for 7 years. The person I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life.

There readers…you have it. The sad and depressed undertone in my blogs. It’s from losing love.

Every day for awhile now, I wake up a bit melancholy. I usually can ride it out, singing out loud…at the top of my lungs. Too often it’s songs that remind me of us. But when I’m held up in cities, taking care of Visas or whatever…I find myself falling into a dark, depressed hole. And it sucks.

I’m going for a ride tomorrow with an Australian that lives out here in Almaty. It will be nice and I’ll borrow one of his mountain bikes. I’m quite inexperienced in this type of riding, I’ve never ridden a bike with suspension. Should be…different…

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Comments (12)

  1. Daniel

    Mademoiselle Moseman
    I follow your blog with great interest since weeks. In my mind you do not have to apologise for anything. Most of all you are honnest and you are entitle to have doubt and even dark feelings. You choose to live a no-ordinary life for a while and it seems that you assume it very well despite your sadness.
    Please keep going the way you do, the way you are.
    Daniel from Montréal Québec

  2. Daniel

    Mademoiselle Moseman
    I follow your blog with great interest since weeks. In my mind you do not have to apologise for anything. Most of all you are honnest and you are entitle to have doubt and even dark feelings. You choose to live a no-ordinary life for a while and it seems that you assume it very well despite your sadness.
    Please keep going the way you do, the way you are.
    Daniel from Montréal Québec

  3. hannah

    Eh, normal is nonexistent. And the inner rants were what intrigued me.

  4. hannah

    Eh, normal is nonexistent. And the inner rants were what intrigued me.

  5. Shelldon

    Never ever apologize, it’s those inner rants that attract us 🙂

  6. Shelldon

    Never ever apologize, it’s those inner rants that attract us 🙂

  7. Steve

    Maybe those people who are offended are just acknowledging how unfulfilled their lives are…

    Agree with Shelldon. 🙂

  8. Steve

    Maybe those people who are offended are just acknowledging how unfulfilled their lives are…

    Agree with Shelldon. 🙂

  9. Nate Briggs

    “Went down to the restaurant, for something to do,
    The waitress yelled at me…so did the food.
    And the water tastes funny, when you’re far from your home,
    But it’s only the thirsty who hunger to roam.”

    John Prine

  10. Nate Briggs

    “Went down to the restaurant, for something to do,
    The waitress yelled at me…so did the food.
    And the water tastes funny, when you’re far from your home,
    But it’s only the thirsty who hunger to roam.”

    John Prine

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